“These Evidence Based Guidelines Lack Pizzazz” Says Aspiring Charlatan

A battle hardened and world weary researcher and clinical mentor has been required to reign in his loose cannon graduate student as they work towards the publication of brand new care guidelines for a common musculoskeletal ailment.

“C’mon Professor, you know it’s true… These guidelines are as boring as batshit” said the student while he balanced a pencil on his nose and spun 360s on a lab stool. “Who is going to follow them anyway? There’s no life in them! Where’s the colour? Where’s the joy? They need… something. They need some… Pizzazz!”

“Let’s just shift a few decimals here or there to jazz things up a bit. Look, if we ignore those data points the results are way better! Let’s publish them like that haha! Then we can write the recommendations the way you thought they were going to turn out. Wouldn’t that be super duper… Talk about a win-win for the mighty Proffy Proffy Prof Prof! You’ll have research grants being thrown at you left, right and centre. You’d be the top dog at the next conference… And you know what that means… You’ll have all the ladies chasing you around. You’ll be the toast of titty town…amirite??!!”

It was evident to our reporter that the Professor did not share his Student’s enthusiasm.