Woman Injured As Glutes Fall Asleep At Wheel
A woman has suffered minor injuries to her neck and back following a moderate speed motor vehicle accident. A Crash Investigation Unit of a Police Department in the State’s south ruled out any illegal driver behaviour. Evidence at the scene combined with statements from the driver suggested the woman may have experienced what is technically known as transient gluteal narcolepsy (TGN). In more colloquial language, TGN is often referred to as “inactive glutes” or “glute inactivity”.
The woman reported that she was driving along just fine and then out of nowhere, her glutes just fell asleep. Before she knew, she lost control of her vehicle. Thankfully her injuries are minor in nature, and she will be able to commence rehabilitation in a timely manner. Our reporter managed to make contact with the Physiotherapist who will be directing her rehabilitation.
“Unfortunately gluteal narcolepsy is on the rise, I don’t like to talk my colleagues down but there are simply too many clinicians out there who don’t take TGN seriously enough. But this patient will do fine. We will get her on a thrice weekly appointment schedule where we will leave no doubt about the importance of waking up those glutes. It could be a blessing for her, really. It’s possible for TGN to progress to total gluteal amnesia. Those are really sad cases to see. There’s not much hope. For those patient’s, their gluteal inactivity is so chronic that their arses simply have no memory of who they are or used to be. There are few sadder sights in the world than an arse that has forgotten itself”.
