Wags the Dog sues over unsafe workplace ergonomics

Wags the Dog, of the much loved children’s entertainment juggernaut, The Wiggles, has filed a lawsuit against his employer over claims he has been forced to contend with unsafe workplace ergonomics. We sent our reporter to the Wiggle House to interview Wags.

“We’ll have to make this quick,” a twitchy Wags told our reporter. “Anthony is out in the Big Red Car and he’s due back soon. If he catches me talking to you well, let’s just say you don’t want to piss off the Blue Wiggle. He’s already ousted Greg, Jeff and Murray”. Wags explained that for as long as he could recall, he has been forced to perform on his hind legs, as if he was some kind of human/dog hybrid. “It’s as if they think I’m a person in a dog suit who is happy to stand upright all day. But I’m telling you my back is killing me”.

Wags has been tolerating his back pain for years without complaining. And his reluctance to step forward may have continued had it not been for a recent discovery that finally prompted him to take a stand, no pun intended.

“I was scrolling the net one day and stumbled across some legit info about posture and eating habits among cats and dogs. It turns out that there’s is an ergonomically optimal postural set up for dogs like me at dinner time. Eating out of a bowl on the floor places incredible strain on my neck … but I’ve been fed that way for years. And let’s not forget, I’m Wags the Dog who eats so much that his tummy drags. So I spend a lot of time eating. Had I been given an ergonomic bowl way back when, I would have no problems today’.

“No wonder I bark all day and night”.