'Woman’s Perfect Posture Not Perfect Enough' Says Posture-Centric Clinician

A female Patient with persistent pain in the cervicothoracic region has failed to respond to six weeks worth of postural correction interventions delivered by a posture centric Clinician with ironically rounded shoulders. The Patient, a part time type-A personality and fulltime perfectionist, reportedly took to the prescribed postural advice with a steely discipline, diligently ensuring that she maintained an optimal cervicothoracolumbar curves for all tasks at all times of the day, as outlined by her treating Clinician.

”Do you know how difficult it is to give hubby a topper with this posture?” asked the woman to our reporter. “Well I’ll tell you. It’s fucking difficult. It feels like I’m wearing a coat hanger under my shirt. I’ve been gettin’ around town with my jaw tucked in like some kind of double chinned stunned mullet. Meanwhile, every pervert and his dog seems to think it’s ok to gawk at my cannons because they stick out when I have my shoulder blades retracted all the time. I’m like, sorry boys, these aren’t for you. But worst of all… my neck still bloody hurts like a bitch”.

Our reporter asked the woman what her plan is going forward, given that so far her symptoms had not improved.

“Well I emailed the doc or Physio or whatever he is, and he reckons I just gotta keep it up. He reckons it still hurts because even though he has done a job in correcting my posture, I’m just not strong enough to maintain it. In his words it’s perfect but just not perfect enough”.