Report: Former High School Football Star Turns Sports Injury Expert

A report by the National Experiential Bignoting Association has confirmed that expertise in the field of sports injury management is naturally conferred to those who have previously excelled in high school athletic endeavours. The report has been well received by Midvale High School’s 2006 State Champion Quarterback, Jock “The Pocket Dancer” Strongarm.

Mr Strongarm revealed to our reporter that he has long felt that his exposure to no fewer than two ankle injuries and three Athletic Trainers in his high school footballing career has provided him with a sufficient knowledge base from which to dispense his personal brand of sports injury management advice to his many hundreds of social media followers.

“Fuck Yeah I know what I’m talkin’ about!” exclaimed Mr Strongarm, “And this report just proves it! So all those evidence based sissies can kiss my hairy Texan ass with their P-values, and fucken confidence intervals and numbers needed to treat. You wanna see a confidence interval? Go watch a replay of me bringin’ it home in the 4th quarter back in ‘06. You don’t get to dance in the pocket like that unless you know human performance inside out. And their aint nobody who dances like me”.

Mr Strongarm assured our reporter that he would not be dissuaded by the naysayers who insist upon critiquing the basic assumptions and biological plausibility of his trademarked laserlight muscle mesmerizing underpants. “Haters gonna hate… But don’t knock it ‘til you tried it. There aint nobody who’ll ever recover faster than a man in a pair of pocket dancing tightywightys. I give you that guarantee for free!”