Off Duty Physio Feigns Interest In Old Mate’s Knee Problem

An off duty Physio has been cornered by the brother of a friend’s, friend at an end of year celebratory bbq. For the off duty Physio, this is a rookie error- and he knows it. Inevitably, their conversation veers toward the question most feared by any off duty Physio… “So what do you do for a living?”

“Oh fuck” said the off duty physio to himself with a mild sense of panic, “I’ve got no exit strategy from this spot”. With no socially acceptable reason to disengage from the conversation, and with the memory of that disastrous time he pretended he was an accountant weighing heavily on him, he sighed internally and revealed his profession.

The friend’s, friend’s brother’s eyes lit up with interest.

“Ahhh shit”, thought the off duty Physio to himself. “This bloke’s about to give me a full rundown of his tennis elbow or something”.

But the off duty Physio was wrong. His friend’s, friend’s brother did not wish to discuss his elbow… but rather, his knee.

“Yeah I’ve had two laparoscopies on the right knee… I played a lot of footy back in the day before I discovered alcohol and a generally sedentary lifestyle. Now it’s messed up... My anteriorly crucial ligament is hanging on by a thread and my medial melingus is all shredded up. I was close to needing a wedge osteolysis on my fibia but I managed to avoid that one with acupuncture and protein shakes... It worked well for me I can send you a link if you haven’t heard about it”.

The off duty called upon all his reflective listening skills in an attempt to diffuse the conversation while being sure not to generate any follow up comments from the friend’s, friend’s, brother.

The off duty Physio efforts failed.

“Kill me now”, he said to himself as he fantasised about sticking a fork in his eye.