Researchers from Squat University have revealed that not deadlifting is bad for one’s back. A spokesperson for the University, Johnny McSquatalot explained the logic behind the claim to our reporter.

“It’s a bit like the movie Dodgeball, you know? Remember that scene where the coach throws a wrench at that kid and says “If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball”? Well it’s the same for lifting things up and putting them down again. If you can pick up the backend of a truck, you won’t have any problems picking up a pencil, provided you always apply perfect technique for every lift, regardless of the load. But that goes without saying, right?”

Our reporter spoke with a student from Squat University who corroborated the claim. “One day I just got out of bed without deadlifting correctly and my back went on me. Another time I slipped while rock climbing without deadlifting correctly and I hurt my back. There was even a time I was smashing a dozen schooners and wrestling my mates in the alley way next to the pub without deadlifting correctly and I hurt my back. I’ve since learned the error in my ways though. Squat Uni has helped me see how important it is to integrate deadlifting into my everyday activities to keep my back healthy. Just last week I emptied the dishwasher while deadlifting 200kg! How could is that!