Tragedy: Patient’s Shoulder Blade Disconnected From Body By Neck Breathing

Despite desperate repeated warnings from a concerned Clinician who has “seen this all too often”, a Patient’s shoulder blade has tragically been disconnected from the body of a neck breathing Patient. “I had heard stories but I thought it was an urban myth”, explained the understandably inconsolable Patient. “I just took a big breath and my arm just popped off scuttled out the door. I’ve got idea where the fucken thing has gone! What am I supposed to do now? I can’t fist bump my buddies with a disembodied limb”, he lamented.

We asked the Clinician who had forewarned this tragedy what a Patient should do in this circumstance.

He replied “I don’t have a solution sorry. I’m excellent at predicting complete limb disconnections but no amount of diaphragmatic breathing can bring a wandering upper limb back home. That’s why it’s crucial not to neck breath in the first place.”