Clinician Humble Enough To Take Credit Where None Is Due

A Senior Therapist in a Northern Suburbs Chiropractic Clinic has taken top gong in the prestigious Smoke Blowing Awards for 2021. Dating back to the 1930s, the SBA awards have served to acknowledge the courage of those in the community who refuse to allow the shackles of modesty or critical introspection from impeding a preference for the self-congratulatory act of blowing liberal volumes of figurative smoke up one’s own rear passage.

“What can I say… I wouldn’t say that I’m a genius per se… I just seem to have a knack for being the right gal at the right time for every patient who has ever had a positive clinical outcome under my care”, explained the Chiropractor to our reporter.

When asked about the generally accepted inevitability of treating patients who do not fair well in terms of clinical outcomes, the Chiropractor replied self effacingly, “Well look, I know all about the trappings of confirmation bias. Despite what my patients tell me, I’m not a messiah- I’m not arrogant enough to think everyone I come in contact with makes a full recovery”, she said pausing thoughtfully.

“I mean, I do realise that I can’t fix everyone, right. But I also think it’s abundantly clear that in those circumstances where the patient doesn’t recover, the problem is not so much that my treatment has failed. Rather, it’s because those Patients are simply too damaged to benefit from the perfectly planned interventions I have graciously bestowed upon them. Or, if it’s not that they’re too damaged, it’s because they’re too weak…Or too strong. Or too tight. Or too loose. Or too uncoordinated. Or too lazy. Or too soft. Or too Old. Or too young. Or too poor. Or too female. Or too male. Or too stupid”.