Horrified Crowd Witnesses Collapse Of Medial Arch
A crowd of Football fans was subjected to an horrific scene over the weekend. Onlookers gasped as late in the first half of Sunday’s local derby, the medial arch of Felix Fiesty-Phalanges’ right foot collapsed as he pivoted before attempting a cross field pass.
“One moment he was sprinting, the next his ankle and foot were maximally pronated”, said a crowd member. “Someone’s head will have to roll for this… In this day and age with all the money they have to get these things right, how can a player be allowed to take the field if he can’t maintain a neutral sub-talar and talonavicular joint. This is outrageous”.
The on-field Podiatrist rushed to Fiesty-Phalanges aid, and scrambled to fashion a makeshift orthotic to restore the collapsed arch… but his efforts were severely hampered by a lack of equipment and basic evidence for efficacy.
Despite claiming he felt no pain and didn’t know what the fuss was about, Fiesty-Phalanges is expected to miss 12 weeks of play while he undergoes an intensive rehabilitation program aimed at correcting his woefully inadequate lower limb biomechanics.