Deranged Disc Committed to McKenzie Asylum

In a disturbing trend, another deeply deranged intervertebral disc has been committed to the McKenzie Asylum, a specialised rehabilitation centre for deranged and otherwise non compos mentis intervertebral discs. The disc was reportedly discovered making nonsensical utterances about irreversible degenerative changes and telekinetic dysfunction.

“The L4/5 disc is experiencing a form of paranoid delusional disorder”, said Associate Professor Artie Annulus, who heads up the Disc Derangement Disorders arm of the McKenzie Asylum. “The delusional architecture is remarkable. The disc is of the belief that it has suffered a permanent osteokinematic translation, or in layman’s terms, a “slipping” out from its righteous position between its neighbouring vertebral bodies. Along with the spatial orientation delusion, the disc typically presents with a strong paranoia of a deadly interaction with a hostile spinal nerveroot”.

The Professor explained that the aetiology of the derangement disorder is unclear. “We don’t fully understand how intervertebral discs develop these deluded beliefs. But here at the McKenzie Asylum, we are bringing them back from the brink by way of an innovative spatio-cognitive intervention”.

“It’s an exciting and tremendously effective intervention”, said the Professor. “We assess the directional preference of the deranged disc’s delusion, you know, does the disc believe it has slipped this way or that, and then we encourage the disc to perform 3x15 reps of cognitive extensions daily for the rest of it’s life until the deranged belief is resorbed and sanity is restored”.