Report: Pain Gadgets Effective For Sexy Female Demographic

A new report by the National Bureau of Useless Pain Gadgets (NBUPG) reveals a striking trend in the applicability of an array of devices and gadgets in the “chronic pain market”.

“It was a fascinating discovery, not one he had anticipated in any way, shape or form” explained Professor Cruise Motley, CEO of the NBUPG. “We have long thought that these products were generally ineffective, you know, more of an expensive placebo than anything else. But what we have found is a remarkably favourable response to all manner of gadgets by one particular demographic- the err, pardon me while I refer to the report… ah yes the err, ‘smoking hot 20-something female with massive norgs, wearing Lululemon apparel’ demographic. When we filtered our database by these characteristics, we consistently found that this sub group, the err, heavily-breasted-attractive-scantilyclad-female demographic had the greatest response to an array of Pain relief gadgets and devices that we would typically describe as being as “useless as a bag full of metaphorical bum holes”.

The good Professor was cautious about providing an hypothesis to explain their observations. “I’m loathed to speculate, but the companies that produce these devices must have a head start on this knowledge… Just look at who they target in their marketing!”