Exposed: Inadequate Home Exercise Compliance

A Patient of a local Physiotherapist has experienced a degree of self-imposed, infantilising social cringe as he scrambled for a response to a question from his Physio he hadn’t realised how much he feared until ten seconds ago.

“So how did you go with those exercises I showed you last time?”

The Patient grappled with the hopeless shame of his predicament. “Oh fiddlyfuckencrumpets… I haven’t done a single thing she suggested and I think she knows it”, guessed the Patient to himself. He guessed right. Not only did his Physio, Steffi Stretchmore, know it… But she knew that he knew that she knew it. And she wasn’t about to let him off the hook.

“Sorry Steffi, I’ve been crazy busy this last week” offered the Patient with a comically sheepish tone, “I haven’t had time to practice them”.

Oh no worries” replied Ms Stretchmore, pretending to sound surprised, “How about you just give me a demo of what you’ve been practicing and then we can work out whether we should progress things along a little?”

“Ah crackly crackerjack turds… this woman is evil! She knows exactly what she’s doing”, thought the increasingly embarrassed Patient as he guessed and bumbled his way through the exercises he had only the vaguest recollection of doing the previous week. “She knows that I know that she knows I’m just winging it here.

“Oh that’s a good try” said Ms Stretchmore in an intentionally thick kindergarten voice, but how about we try doing it this way?”

“FML I deserve every second of this” conceded the Patient to himself as he carefully listened to Ms Stretchmore’s instructions and promised himself that he would limit his PlayStation time to two hours per day.