1 dead, scores injured following lumbar intervertebral disc explosion

A man has lost his life in a dead-lift related explosion in an Inner City Gymnasium. The explosion also injured several bystanders and has sparked a swift rebuke from a faction of Health Practitioners who thought it appropriate to commence saying ‘I told you so’ instead of allowing time for affected friends and family members to absorb this tragic news.

“We’ve been warning whoever will listen, and all of those won’t that you just can’t go around lifting like this” said Johnny O’Lordosis, Physiotherapist and leader of the Neutral Spine Society. “These guys get into the gym and don’t even think about how they’re lifting. It’s just crazy… the evidence that we prefer to cite is clear, as is our unique interpretation of it… Lifting without conscious effort to engage the core and maintain a neutral spine places dangerous amounts of compressive load on the intervertebral discs”.

A witness to the explosion, who managed to escape with only minor injuries from projectile fragments of annulus fibrosis described the event. “He was just standing there, then he bent over to pick up the bar… it must’ve only been a fraction of a second that his lumbar spine flexed. But that was all it took…”

Mr O’Lordosis told our reporter that he wasn’t going to let this matter pass. “I won’t let these events occur on my watch. I’m more motivated than ever to quash this laissez faire approach where lifters are encouraged to relax and let their spines move without conscious effort to control segmental stability. I’ll be doubling my efforts to warn patients of the dangers of loaded spinal flexion. Someone has to take this madness seriously”.