Report: Physiotherapists Forced Into Unpaid, After Hours Labour

The Good Health Tribune has learned that an increasing number of Physiotherapists are being forced into unpaid weekend and after hours labour. The disturbing trend is thought to be the product of an ethically cloudy, albeit legal interpretation of marriage vows sworn between Physiotherapists and their Spouses.

A leaked dossier from the affirmative action group, PASTTP (Physiotherapists Against Spouses Taking The Piss), revealed that 4 out of 5 Physiotherapists experience unshirkable pressure to address the various musculoskeletal complaints of their beloveds on at least a weekly basis.

“I get home from slogging through a full list of patients only to have my better half quizzing me about a clicky knee or stiff back or sore wrist!!” explained a local Physiotherapist who preferred to remain anonymous for fear of having his testicles handed to him on a platter should his spouse learn of his involvement in this story.

Another Clinician, Marge Areene assured our reporter that there isn’t enough cheese in the world to complement her husband’s wine(ing). “For Pete’s sake, does he really think I want to listen to a weekly update of the dodgy shoulder he’s done nothing beyond complaining about in 15 years!?”

A spokesperson from the PASTTP estimated that the Physiotherapy, Massage and Chiropractic professions alone, contribute upward of $500million in free labour to the economy, annually. Our reporter asked the husband Mrs Areene for a comment. “Well, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t swindle a fair share of free treatment from the wife. But it’s in her interest to keep me fit and healthy… who will do all the jar opening and light bulb changing if my shoulder’s no good?”

More details to follow as this important story develops…