Vice-captain of suburban Rugby club, the Eastern Pintswillers, Trent Dawson, failed to attend training this week. Initial reports emanating from the club indicated that Dawson had pulled up with a sore knee after last week’s impressive win over cross town rivals, the Western Kegtappers.

In a Good Health Tribune exclusive, we can reveal greater details of the injury. We spoke with Dawon’s Physio, Samuel McJointjoint from Fancy Hands Physiotherapy Centre.

“Yeah, Sammy was a bit vague on details of how he hurt his knee. It looked pretty bruised and swollen, but he couldn’t recall a moment in the game where his knee got caught or twisted. I wasn’t convinced by his story. After a bit more digging he cracked and admitted that he and the boys had a wrestle on the walk home from the pub later that night. A somersault challenge gone wrong left him with a grade II PFO knee strain”. For the benefit of our readers, we asked Mr McJointjoint to explain exactly what constitutes a PFO injury. Was it a Plantar Fascia Osteitis? Or a Proximal Fibular Ossification?

“A PFO injury? That’s easy. It stands for Pissed-Fell-Over. Hahaha”.