An innovative Clinician has pioneered an exciting new branch of Chiropractic therapy. The technique’s creator, Marjorie Brilliant DC, claims that the secret to her success lies within the untapped therapeutic potential of “clinician led straddle flatulence”.

“It is truly amazing” explained Ms Brilliant with a proud smile, “There’s nothing more rewarding than seeing the expression on my patient’s face after I climb aboard the plynth and let fly with a tune from my trouser trumpet. Some say the expression is one of constrained disgust, but I know it’s really gratitude”,

When asked by our reporter how the treatment works, Ms Brilliant was a little guarded in her response, saying “Well now, I can’t give my trade secrets away can I? Let’s just say, the key is to ensure you have straddled the patient’s torso in a perfectly symmetrical manner such that the problematic spinal segment is maximally exposed to the Clinician’s posterior wind tunnel. To learn the more nuanced aspects, such as delivering varying flatulence frequencies to optimally target specific pathologies, you’ll have to attend my course like everyone else”,