The owner of local Gym and Fitness Centre, Kaptain Kwads has pleaded for anyone with information about the unexplainable disappearance of treasured gym equipment to notify Crimestoppers immediately.

It’s really bizarre” said Mr Kwadrophic, the Fitness Centre Owner. First thing I noticed was the 0.5kg dumbbells went missing, one went on a Tuesday and then another the next day. And since then, the 1kgs disappeared, and then the 2kgs and 3kgs… and now one of the 4kg is missing!”

Our reporter asked Mr Kwadrophic if it was possible the equipment had been smuggled out somehow to be sold on the lucrative dumbbell black market.

“Well, anything is possible I suppose” replied Mr Kwadrophic, “But look, we’ve been keeping a close eye on everyone, checking bags and what not… So unless some joker is smuggling them up his arse, I just have no idea how they’d be getting them out!”