A Plumber from the Donut Plains district has been diagnosed with grade III Whiplash Associated Disorder following a high speed motor vehicle accident on the notorious Ghost Valley Freeway.

The driver of the vehicle, Mario Mario, a local tradesman of Italian heritage who curiously shares his first name with his surname, spoke with our reporter in broken English.

“Eh Luigi… I’ve-a-farked-a-my-neck! How I gonna rescue-a-the-princess-now eh!”

Mr Mario claimed to be the victim of an unprovoked attack by another road user fitting the description of alleged lifelong stalker Bowser- King of the Koopa Troopas. Mr Mario’s report has proven difficult to corroborate, owing to the absence of evidence at the scene and suspicious traces of speed mushroom found in Mr Mario’s vehicle.

This story will be updated as details come to hand.