A local know it all has presented to a Physiotherapy clinic for a complaint of unrelenting hip pain. 24 year old part time bartender and recently qualified yoga instructor, Mercedes Corvette, got right to the point during her initial Physiotherapy consultation.

“I know exactly what I’ve done. It hurts right here and I know that means the fissuring in my lumbar multifidus is inflamed and my s2/3 facet joint as become unstable again. It happens whenever I forget to switch my core on or when I wear high heels. I also have a 2mm leg length discrepancy that exacerbates things especially when I’m lying down sideways”.

The treating Physiotherapist mustered all of his mental strength to avoid openly rolling his eyes and facepalming at the patient’s explicit certainty in her idiotic self-diagnosis.

“Faaark me… someone has done a number on this one. I wonder if I’ll ever get a patient who hasn’t had a bucket of rubbish pathoanatomy shoved down their throat by some other useless bastard practitioner? Oh well, once more into the breach, as they say…” thought the physio before taking a deep breath and responding to the patient… “Oh wow, it sounds to me like it’s been difficult to deal with all of those challenges. How have you managed them over the years…?”