A study published by the Journal of Reticent Factology has revealed that the practice of high velocity, low amplitude (HVLA) manipulation of the upper cervical spine is ineffective at treating cervical artery dissection. The study builds on previously published reports that have sought to investigate for the presence of a causal relationship between the practice of HVLA manipulation of the cervical spine, and the occurrence of stroke by way of traumatic cervical artery dissection. To date, these reports have failed to establish such a causal relationship. For proponents of cervical spine HVLA, the data has been vindicating, with one anonymous proponent exclaiming;

“Haha, suck my fat one fuckers! Ya’ll just too crap or pussy to treat necks properly!”

Although no causal relationship has been established, the data does point to a weak association between cervical spine HVLA and stroke events. A hypothesis to explain the association is that patients who are experiencing a symptomatic cervical arterial dissection might present to healthcare providers, who are routinely tasked with the responsibility of providing care for neck pain. The lead author of the new study explained to our reporter that this hypothesis, while reasonable, raises further questions.

“It raises the question- Why choose to treat Patients presenting with symptomatic cervical arterial dissection with a HVLA cervical spine manipulation? So we set about designing a study to find out. More specifically, we posed the question ‘‘Is cervical spine HVLA an effective treatment for a symptomatic cervical arterial dissection”

The author of the study was unequivocal in his findings and recommendations.

“Our data suggests that cervical spine HVLA is effective at arresting or healing a cervical arterial dissection in 0% of cases. Our data also suggests that cervical spine HVLA is effective at preventing the progression of a cervical arterial dissection to an ischemic stroke event in 0% of cases. Our data leads us to wonder why the fuck these Practitioners choose to dispense this intervention to this cohort of Patients”.